That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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