I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
