In the future we'll all be gay
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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