All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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