Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize