so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
