I puked a lego.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
