I am puke
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
