I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
