If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize