Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
