last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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