And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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