Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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