I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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