i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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