capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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