the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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