Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
