Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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