i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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