i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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