with your own penis?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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