I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
