Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
