I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize