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you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
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