im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
