Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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