You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
its liver damage thursday
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