I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
