if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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