i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
