Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
