He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
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I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I need water and some morals
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
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