Your dad touched me again.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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