I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
