Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
