I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He kissed a someone with a penis
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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