Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
do nipples grow back?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
