i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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