she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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