OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize