Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
