dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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