Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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