Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
