this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Alive.
So much puke
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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