wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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