Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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