her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
