if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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