genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
