weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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