ADVERTISEMENT

• (734): View more from Michigan

  i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.

  (1-734): View more from Michigan

  what was she crying about?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

  Fav 47 15141 2232

  share tweet
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads

  Fav 41 12259 1470

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  when did we get a doorman?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were also in the wrong building...

  Fav 15 7302 1417

  share tweet
  

• (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

  Fav 9 2043 4595

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.

  Fav 24 8229 1363

  share tweet
  

• (541): View more from Oregon

  I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.

  Fav 16 3876 1252

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (660): View more from Missouri

  I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah

  Fav 9 2444 1082

  share tweet
  

• (218): View more from Minnesota

  found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.

  Fav 4 699 1152

  share tweet
  

• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.

  Fav 1 696 506

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were

  Fav 1 489 750

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  I am never drinking with the goths again.

  Fav 2 287 125

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED

  Fav 0 97 163

  share tweet
  

• (325): View more from Texas

  This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.

  Fav 3 79 10

  share tweet
  

• (650): View more from California

  I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!

  Fav 1 17 54

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (616): View more from Michigan

  At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.

  Fav 0 48 8

  share tweet
  

Randomize