JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"