That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.