My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize