I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.