It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
