Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering

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  (586): There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering http://tfl.nu/580n
  Replies (4) Good night (1289) Bad night (638)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.

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  (816): I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart. http://tfl.nu/md27
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (1248)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Fuck I'm high.

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  (908): Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles. (908): Fuck I'm high. http://tfl.nu/titc
  Replies (56) Good night (1813) Bad night (3482)
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  (415): View more from California

  I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.

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  (415): I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys. http://tfl.nu/rxe7
  Replies (14) Good night (2536) Bad night (637)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls

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  (772): bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls http://tfl.nu/txmo
  Replies (58) Good night (2498) Bad night (8035)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake

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  (816): yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake http://tfl.nu/gu5i
  Replies (11) Good night (4876) Bad night (888)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.

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  (506): I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why. http://tfl.nu/rcz3
  Replies (18) Good night (4993) Bad night (1109)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.

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  (443): If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating. http://tfl.nu/mpso
  Replies (8) Good night (781) Bad night (2101)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..

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  (540): margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted.. http://tfl.nu/mj6g
  Replies (3) Good night (1009) Bad night (781)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person

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  (816): I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person http://tfl.nu/5a3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1170) Bad night (483)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom

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  (610): I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom http://tfl.nu/d66w
  Replies (5) Good night (824) Bad night (377)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...

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  (306): how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk? (1-306): you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you... http://tfl.nu/x6zk
  Replies (0) Good night (1402) Bad night (334)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.

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  (561): Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old. http://tfl.nu/6giy
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (316)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.

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  (443): Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls. http://tfl.nu/mn9e
  Replies (1) Good night (394) Bad night (328)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced

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  (425): Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced http://tfl.nu/tykz
  Replies (0) Good night (507) Bad night (389)

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