just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment