and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
