No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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