Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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