I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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