There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize